As a young boy, he was involved in a encounter with a poisonous spider that bit his only companion, his faithful dog. He developed arachnophobia and became a loner, as well as developing a timid personality. He is clumsy and as he is weak in his studies, he is discriminated by most students in his class.
Me, Joe
He frequently tries to stand up for what is right and protects those in need. He also opposes discrimination against others and openly is kind to all. Lastly, he stands up for what is right, and stops those who are unjust.
Ali and James
A mischievous duo which is always causing chaos and wreaking havoc wherever they go. They are boorish and rude and take advantage of their tall and large body sizes to bully the weak. Lastly, they are rude and cannot be trusted.
Mrs. Lowe
Caring, gentle and responsible, Mrs. Lowe is the form teacher in the story. She is always ready to teach and guide her fellow students into the pathway of learning, and teaching is non-other than her passion.
The rest of the class
The class finishes with the other 30 of them, who are a talkative and playful bunch. They are attentive and obedient who follow the instructions of Mrs. Lowe unquestionably.
Main events 1. Kenneth hosts a birthday party in class, despite his slightly poor (monetary) background, and the enthusiastic attitude of the class brightens Kenneth’s day: Shows class characteristic.
2. The class gets to working on decorating the class.
3. The class goes to the storeroom downstairs to get more chairs.
4. Only Ali and James stay back as they are assigned to watch over the cake: Their characteristics of lying appear here.
5. I feel uneasy as I walk away, as I had vibes that something bad would happen.
6. The duo places a spider in the cake without anyone knowing (not me either). At this time, Mrs. Lowe comes back with the class. The climax begins.
7. The cake cutting starts. Kenneth raises the knife and as the cake splits open, a few large spiders jump out. This indicates Kenneth’s timid self caused by his phobia.
8. Kenneth is petrified and starts gasping and choking. I spring to action and use a broom to kill the spiders and get rid of them. This shows my bravery.
9. Mrs. Lowe reprimands James and Ali never to do that again. Mrs. Lowe called the number of a bakery and a new cake was supplied. A Birthday prank “I have thirty two exam papers with parents’ signatures on them, out of thirty four. Ali and James, where are your signed papers?” Mrs. Lowe [E1]at the two boys. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” said James sarcastically, and followed by a snicker.[E2]I watched in disgust at the two boys. Ali and James were a famous, yes, infamous and notorious duo around the Primary 5 level. Everyone knew who they were and dared not associate with them, lest they get a black eye or a bleeding shin. The two boys were burly in size and frequently made use of this attribute to bully the weak.
“Changing the topic,” began Mrs. Lowe, “Kenneth’s birthday is tomorrow and his parents have proposed celebrating his birthday. A fruit cake will be in order, yes?” [E3]
“And what good timing! The exams are over so we can have a party tomorrow.”
Let me explain one thing. Kenneth comes from a family which is rather poor. His parents earn a meager sum of money just to put enough food on the table. Then they have almost nothing left. So Kenneth leads a very simple life: he has never been to a restaurant before. Another interesting fact was that Kenneth has always been a loner as nobody liked him due to his timid self and poor academic performance. He played with his only companion, his dog, when he was young, but one day, a poisonous spider bit his dog and he watched in horror as his only friend died before his very eyes. [E4]So he was discriminated among some in our class as a ‘good-for-nothing’.
Then, the bell rang and it was time to go home.
The next day, we continued our lessons as usual, but at nine o’clock, [E5]as we reported to Mrs. Lowe over our duties at the party.
“Group 1 will hang decorations. Group 2 will clean and sweep the floors. Group 3 will collect the cake from the general office and set the candles. And Group 4 will…...” We ran about like a swarm of busy bees, and orders were shouted across the classroom, confetti and streamers flew about, and everyone was in a good mood to celebrate. In no time, our co-operation had transformed our classroom into a colourful party room and we ourselves were impressed by the significant changes.
“Alright class, we shall go downstairs to get more chairs from the storeroom. Ali and James, stay in class and watch the cake. DON’T try any nonsense, you two, or you’ll be in big trouble. Remember, I promised that I would give you a chance to prove your responsibility. This is one good time to prove it.” [E6]I looked back at the classroom as we walked downstairs. I shuddered. Something was definitely not right. Mrs. Lowe had made a bad decision as the two boys could not be trusted, could they? Taking a deep sigh, I decided to relax and enjoy the festive spirit instead.
We walked in a single file and arranged the chairs around the table with the cake. The cake was still in one piece: the boys did really keep their promise. Some groaned in disgust looking at the cake which had no icing or cream, and had just a few measly slices of fruit. I decided not to pull down Kenneth’s big smile and walked over, saying, [E7]I knew it meant a lot to Kenneth as he was fully excited about this party, which was something he NEVER had before. Then, Mrs. Lowe began singing the birthday song. We joined along in unison, and Ben reached over to switch off the light. Kenneth [E8]as he watched the flickering flames that danced gracefully. It was time to cut the cake. Kenneth took a plastic knife and began cutting. The cake split in two but then, something brown and furry crawled out. It was a spider! The spider jumped on Kenneth and he screamed. [E9]His eyes painted a picture of anger and sorrow over betrayal. “Somebody do something! He has a phobia!” yelled Kate. [E10]and swept the spider off Kenneth, followed by a few smacks of the broom, ended the life of the beast. I continued sweeping it into the dustbin. Mrs. Lowe had already attended to Kenneth, who had collapsed in a series of sobs and groans. Kenneth covered his face with his hands and was whispering “No more…No more……” It was a [E11]seeing him in mental pain. Just then, James and Ali cracked out and burst out laughing. “Ha ha! Scaredy cat! What a great prank!”
Mrs Lowe stared in shock at the two boys, then her face began to crinkle and turn into a fierce frown. The two boys froze in their guffaws and stood rooted to the ground. “You two rascals have made me angry enough for one day!” began Mrs. Lowe, “Just look at what you’ve done! Is it so hard to be good and appreciate a small party? We want to make a great party for Kenneth so please co-operate! Such efforts to create a prank will not go unpunished. Out you two go. Not a peep from either of you or I will call your parents. Clear?” [E12]
Much later, Mrs. Lowe cooled down and apologized for the chaos caused. [E13]Shortly thereafter, the class became a food fair as the Kentucky Fried Chicken, as well as the other fast foods, and not to forget, a large caramel fudge cake from Awfully Chocolate was delivered. Everyone had a whale of a time chomping the delectable ‘cuisine’ and Kenneth had, as it seemed, the best day of his life.
What about James and Ali? Well, for their hard work and efforts to pull off such a great prank, Mrs. Lowe [E14]with the chance to stand outside, mouth watering, while watching everyone in class wolf down the sumptuous food and have fun! ---- [E1]Mrs .Lowe is given a lot of trouble by Ali and James. [E2]We can see that this is a show factor, as Ali and James like to rebel with certain gestures, in this case, a snort and a snicker. [E3]Shows his happiness and pride about being able to get a cake to share, despite being poor. [E4]A only reason to mention this will mean that a complication based on this will occur. [E5]Optimistic and fun-loving, as according to the characteristics list. [E6]Shows that the two boys cannot be trusted. [E7]Shows the compassionate attitude of the main character. [E8]This also is similar to point 3. [E9]Shows the major symptoms appearing. [E10]Shows his initiative and character of bravery. [E11]We see his compassion for the third time! So this particular character of compassion is emphasised mainly in the story. [E12]They detest the punishment which is a resolution to our problem here in the story. [E13]This shows her responsible character. [E14]A creative ending where a punishment is a “reward”.
Comment by Wei Liang
Your plot is quite interesting, but could you put more clues that James and Ali were going to pull a prank.
Also, you could have the plot more interesting by having a more complicated prank.
Comment by Gavin
That was a nice story, but there really needs to be more foreshadowing of the prank. The prank is good, but how did they get the spider to come out? I can't find that! But the storyline is really good.
Comment by Yu Tse
Your story is good, but I just wonder how did Ali and James make sure that the spider was placed at the correct place so that when Kenneth cut the cake, the spider would not be sliced into two and come out easily?
Comment 2 by Yu Tse
May I know how James and Ali managed to put the spider inside? Wouldn't there be a cut and they could see that someone did something to the cake? Maybe you can try to give hints on that.
Comment by Tianyi
how could they have put the spider inside without leaving a trace?
Comment 2 by Tianyi
won't the spider bite its way out?
Main events
1. Kenneth hosts a birthday party in class, despite his slightly poor (monetary) background, and the enthusiastic attitude of the class brightens Kenneth’s day: Shows class characteristic.
2. The class gets to working on decorating the class.
3. The class goes to the storeroom downstairs to get more chairs.
4. Only Ali and James stay back as they are assigned to watch over the cake: Their characteristics of lying appear here.
5. I feel uneasy as I walk away, as I had vibes that something bad would happen.
6. The duo places a spider in the cake without anyone knowing (not me either). At this time, Mrs. Lowe comes back with the class. The climax begins.
7. The cake cutting starts. Kenneth raises the knife and as the cake splits open, a few large spiders jump out. This indicates Kenneth’s timid self caused by his phobia.
8. Kenneth is petrified and starts gasping and choking. I spring to action and use a broom to kill the spiders and get rid of them. This shows my bravery.
9. Mrs. Lowe reprimands James and Ali never to do that again. Mrs. Lowe called the number of a bakery and a new cake was supplied.
A Birthday prank
“I have thirty two exam papers with parents’ signatures on them, out of thirty four. Ali and James, where are your signed papers?” Mrs. Lowe [E1] at the two boys.
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” said James sarcastically, and followed by a snicker.[E2] I watched in disgust at the two boys. Ali and James were a famous, yes, infamous and notorious duo around the Primary 5 level. Everyone knew who they were and dared not associate with them, lest they get a black eye or a bleeding shin. The two boys were burly in size and frequently made use of this attribute to bully the weak.
“Changing the topic,” began Mrs. Lowe, “Kenneth’s birthday is tomorrow and his parents have proposed celebrating his birthday. A fruit cake will be in order, yes?”
[E3]
“And what good timing! The exams are over so we can have a party tomorrow.”
Let me explain one thing. Kenneth comes from a family which is rather poor. His parents earn a meager sum of money just to put enough food on the table. Then they have almost nothing left. So Kenneth leads a very simple life: he has never been to a restaurant before. Another interesting fact was that Kenneth has always been a loner as nobody liked him due to his timid self and poor academic performance. He played with his only companion, his dog, when he was young, but one day, a poisonous spider bit his dog and he watched in horror as his only friend died before his very eyes. [E4] So he was discriminated among some in our class as a ‘good-for-nothing’.
Then, the bell rang and it was time to go home.
The next day, we continued our lessons as usual, but at nine o’clock, [E5] as we reported to Mrs. Lowe over our duties at the party.
“Group 1 will hang decorations. Group 2 will clean and sweep the floors. Group 3 will collect the cake from the general office and set the candles. And Group 4 will…...” We ran about like a swarm of busy bees, and orders were shouted across the classroom, confetti and streamers flew about, and everyone was in a good mood to celebrate. In no time, our co-operation had transformed our classroom into a colourful party room and we ourselves were impressed by the significant changes.
“Alright class, we shall go downstairs to get more chairs from the storeroom. Ali and James, stay in class and watch the cake. DON’T try any nonsense, you two, or you’ll be in big trouble. Remember, I promised that I would give you a chance to prove your responsibility. This is one good time to prove it.” [E6] I looked back at the classroom as we walked downstairs. I shuddered. Something was definitely not right. Mrs. Lowe had made a bad decision as the two boys could not be trusted, could they? Taking a deep sigh, I decided to relax and enjoy the festive spirit instead.
We walked in a single file and arranged the chairs around the table with the cake. The cake was still in one piece: the boys did really keep their promise. Some groaned in disgust looking at the cake which had no icing or cream, and had just a few measly slices of fruit. I decided not to pull down Kenneth’s big smile and walked over, saying, [E7] I knew it meant a lot to Kenneth as he was fully excited about this party, which was something he NEVER had before. Then, Mrs. Lowe began singing the birthday song. We joined along in unison, and Ben reached over to switch off the light. Kenneth [E8] as he watched the flickering flames that danced gracefully. It was time to cut the cake. Kenneth took a plastic knife and began cutting. The cake split in two but then, something brown and furry crawled out. It was a spider! The spider jumped on Kenneth and he screamed. [E9] His eyes painted a picture of anger and sorrow over betrayal. “Somebody do something! He has a phobia!” yelled Kate. [E10] and swept the spider off Kenneth, followed by a few smacks of the broom, ended the life of the beast. I continued sweeping it into the dustbin. Mrs. Lowe had already attended to Kenneth, who had collapsed in a series of sobs and groans. Kenneth covered his face with his hands and was whispering “No more…No more……” It was a [E11] seeing him in mental pain. Just then, James and Ali cracked out and burst out laughing. “Ha ha! Scaredy cat! What a great prank!”
Mrs Lowe stared in shock at the two boys, then her face began to crinkle and turn into a fierce frown. The two boys froze in their guffaws and stood rooted to the ground. “You two rascals have made me angry enough for one day!” began Mrs. Lowe, “Just look at what you’ve done! Is it so hard to be good and appreciate a small party? We want to make a great party for Kenneth so please co-operate! Such efforts to create a prank will not go unpunished. Out you two go. Not a peep from either of you or I will call your parents. Clear?” [E12]
Much later, Mrs. Lowe cooled down and apologized for the chaos caused. [E13] Shortly thereafter, the class became a food fair as the Kentucky Fried Chicken, as well as the other fast foods, and not to forget, a large caramel fudge cake from Awfully Chocolate was delivered. Everyone had a whale of a time chomping the delectable ‘cuisine’ and Kenneth had, as it seemed, the best day of his life.
What about James and Ali? Well, for their hard work and efforts to pull off such a great prank, Mrs. Lowe [E14] with the chance to stand outside, mouth watering, while watching everyone in class wolf down the sumptuous food and have fun!
----
[E1]Mrs .Lowe is given a lot of trouble by Ali and James.
[E2]We can see that this is a show factor, as Ali and James like to rebel with certain gestures, in this case, a snort and a snicker.
[E3]Shows his happiness and pride about being able to get a cake to share, despite being poor.
[E4]A only reason to mention this will mean that a complication based on this will occur.
[E5]Optimistic and fun-loving, as according to the characteristics list.
[E6]Shows that the two boys cannot be trusted.
[E7]Shows the compassionate attitude of the main character.
[E8]This also is similar to point 3.
[E9]Shows the major symptoms appearing.
[E10]Shows his initiative and character of bravery.
[E11]We see his compassion for the third time! So this particular character of compassion is emphasised mainly in the story.
[E12]They detest the punishment which is a resolution to our problem here in the story.
[E13]This shows her responsible character.
[E14]A creative ending where a punishment is a “reward”.
Comment by Wei Liang
Your plot is quite interesting, but could you put more clues that James and Ali were going to pull a prank.
Also, you could have the plot more interesting by having a more complicated prank.
Comment by Gavin
That was a nice story, but there really needs to be more foreshadowing of the prank. The prank is good, but how did they get the spider to come out? I can't find that! But the storyline is really good.
Comment by Yu Tse
Your story is good, but I just wonder how did Ali and James make sure that the spider was placed at the correct place so that when Kenneth cut the cake, the spider would not be sliced into two and come out easily?
Comment 2 by Yu Tse
May I know how James and Ali managed to put the spider inside? Wouldn't there be a cut and they could see that someone did something to the cake? Maybe you can try to give hints on that.
Comment by Tianyi
how could they have put the spider inside without leaving a trace?
Comment 2 by Tianyi
won't the spider bite its way out?